I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
