If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
