He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
