So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
She told me I should be a condom model.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
