Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
They took my balls.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
