would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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