By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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