I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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