I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize