I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
