I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
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