He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
