guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
