Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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