You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Randomize
