She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize