Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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