What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
