I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
