yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
