the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
