Whats the glycemic index on semen?
only if we run a train.
done.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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