You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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