You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
