I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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