Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
