I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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