i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
