You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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