Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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