$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Randomize
