Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize