Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
