dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize