Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
