I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
