I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
