I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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