Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
