In the future we'll all be gay
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
