everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
