Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
