Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
