The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize