So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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