Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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