Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
our cab driver is having phone sex.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
