Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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