Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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