Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
