I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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