you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize