Plan B is the new Plan A
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
