Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
