A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
she smelled like a LAN party
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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