I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
