woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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