why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
