Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
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i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
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Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
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