:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize